So quiet you were
by X.Devils-Sweetheart.X
Summary: Songfic; set just after 'all access'. mac/stella; friendship, maybe more...? Stella needs a friend, now more then ever, but who does she turn to...? its honestly better then this summery, please R&R : rated just to be safe :


**_Heey, it's been ages since I wrote something, been far too busy with school work, but now its the summer break, thank god, lol. anyways I, as usual, own nothing :( hope you enjoy ... and review, they make me happy :) and this is from Mac's point of veiw by the way, its set just after the episode 'all access' cause come on, lets face it, we all know where Stella went ;) x_**

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_Silence sits with me again tonight,  
all alone yet with you by my side.  
Your mind's not here it's with someone else,  
I don't know who it is, but I can tell.  
So quiet you were._

"Stella" I say in a shocked tone as I open my door "I thought you were going to stay at your place?" I question, tentatively, moving out of the way so that she can get though my narrow apartment door frame. Her curls are still scraped back into a loose ponytail, her jumper swamps her small frame, The deep gash is still visible on her face, and fear is still evident in her eyes. My heart breaks seeing her like this. She is the strongest person I know, and now she is so scared. It's my chance to be there for her, for once.

"I'm sorry, I-I-I just couldn't stand it there with the blood-" tears start to form at the corners of her eyes, and I quickly gather her in a tight hug. Trying to convey my emotions in one simple gesture. She hugs back. Now all that matters is her. As long as she is ok, then I can be too. I pull back from the hug taking her bag from her as I do so. We stand in silent communication, for a couple moments, then I place the bag by the sofa, and head to the kitchen. Reaching up to the top shelf, I pull out a bottle of whiskey and two cups. I fill both the cups up halfway, but the second one I water down. The last thing that Stella needs is to get wasted. I take a cup in each hand and proceed back into the front room. I sit beside Stella, on my sofa, and hand her, her drink. She mumbles a quiet thank you, as she continues to stare into space. I know who shes thinking about. Him. Frankie. The one who did this to her. The one who turned the strongest person I know, back into a scared little girl. In an attempt to break the silence I offer her a few words to her. To comfort her. "Stella, if you need me, I'm here, if you wanna shout at someone, I'll take it, you wanna hit someone, I won't fight back" in my mind I add the part I am to cowardice to say _if you want someone to love, then he is sitting beside you._

_Say what you want  
I don't care if it hurts me.  
Say what you want  
I don't care if it breaks me  
In your eyes, I see inside._

She tells me about him. What he done, what he said, how he said it. Each time she traces over the skin he had hurt, as if reliving the pain, she flinches each time too. I can see the tears start to once again burn at the corners of her eyes. I put my glass down on the coffee table, and place my strong arms around her weak form. I kiss the top of her head, the smell of her shampoo threatens to overwhelm my nose.

"It's gonna be ok" I whisper into her curls. I feel her twitch and tense up in my arms, suddenly she pulls away, her eyes all puff and red.

"How do you know its gonna be ok?" she questions, her eyes burning with anger and fear. "You didn't have to go though what I did" she hisses before standing up from the sofa, she quickly runs to my bathroom. I can hear the sound of crying, then her being sick. I jump up, I don't care what she does to me, for all I care she can scream at me till the morning, all I care about is that she is ok. When I walk into the bathroom, she is at the sink, she lifts her head up and looks in the mirror at me, her face is as white as a ghost, and big bags are clearly visible under her eyes. My eyes meet her reflected ones, I offer a small smile and a soundless _sorry_. She smiles a little back.

"I think I over-reacted a little again" she lets out a little hollow laugh, her voice dry and scratchy. I shake my head in disagreement.

"I deserved it" I shrug.

"I look awful, Mac" she stated looking into her own eyes using the mirror. She turned on the tap and splashed some water on her face. I walk to her and turn off the tap, then I slide my arm around her waist.

"Come on, you need some sleep" I tell her as I lead her out of the bathroom.

_Pretending not to hear what I just said,  
doing your make-up undistracted.  
Any excuse why you have to go,  
I see right through that, just so you know._

When we get to the front room she shrugs off my arm.

"I won't be able to sleep, I don't wanna close my eyes" she pauses then whispers "I don't wanna see him in my head again" I turn her to face me, then take both her hands in mine.

"Stella, you need to sleep" I caress her hands with my thumbs. "Don't worry, I'm here, I'll look after you, remember, we're partners, thats what we do" I give a reassuring smile. She mirrors my smile back at me, and nods.

"Ok then, as long as you stay with me" she picks up her stuff and heads back to the bedroom to change. I watch her walk, I would never let anyone hurt her ever again. Lucky she killed Frankie, or I would of done it myself.

_Questions you ignite,  
the flames are so damn bright.  
Nothing makes no sense anymore.  
Hide behind your face,  
it gives so much away.  
You don't make no sense anymore._

"Stella" I knock on my bedroom door. "Are you decent?"

"Yeah" I hear her call back from inside my room. I pull down the handle on the door and allow it to creak open. I see her looking curiously around at the photos of me, when I was in the marines, a soft smile plays upon her face. I move further into my room. "Come on Stella you can look at the photos in the morning, sleep. Now" I grin at her, and make my way to my bed to pick my pajamas up. "I'm gonna sleep on the couch, ok?" I go to head to the door, but I feel her small hand around my wrist.

"Please stay with me, for a bit, I don't wanna be alone yet" I nod and lead her slowly to my bed. She climbs in and lays down, gently I pull the covers up over her, and sit in line with her waist. Smiling down at her, I brush a loose curl off her face.

"Come on, sleep now" I say soothingly to her, her hand finds mine again and she holds it tight. A whole bunch of questions burst into my head, was this n act of more then just friendship? Does she know she just made my heart go four times its normal rate? Does she want to be more then friends? I push these questions out of my mind, even if she did want to be more then friends, now was not the time to act on that, she had just been attacked by someone she once trusted, I will wait. Her eyes slowly droop until they are completely closed, and the soft sound of her snores fill the room. I disconnect my hand from hers, then lean down slowly and place a soft kiss on her forehead. I stand up from the bed, watching her sleep for a couple seconds then I head to the door. I rest my hand on the switch, making sure that she is asleep, I flick the lights off and whisper "I love you Stella" I turn and walk down the hall, but as I reach the bathroom I hear a sleepy Stella whisper back.

"I love you too, Mac"

_Say what you want  
I don't care if it hurts me.  
Say what you want..._


End file.
